• Tanya Louise

Lifestyle: The Easing Of Lockdown And Why It's OK Not To Be OK







I'm going to throw it out there, I've felt a bit anxious about the easing of lockdown restrictions.


Not to the point I've had sleepless nights or anything, just a sense of uneasiness. I can't be the only one. So today I wanted to talk about the easing of lockdown and why it's OK not to be OK.


I think it stems from the fact that I was in active cancer treatment when the first lockdown happened, so I had been cautious because of a weakened immune system since the previous Autumn. In reality I've been in what I feel like is a protective bubble for around 18 months.


Don't get me wrong, I have been out in that time, but the majority has been hospital appointments or brief visits to the shop. Reality hasn't been a thing for so long.


So why am I anxious? I think it's the thought of being back in the real world, losing that protection - having to get back to 'normal' almost. Finishing cancer treatment is hard enough - being cast back out into the world and just expected to get on with it when things will never ever be the same again. Being cast out into a world that resembled a sci-fi movie was something else.


In some ways I was fortunate. The world stood still with me. The world in some ways became a more sanitised place, plus there was no rush to return to normality. Yet in other respects the world had become somewhere that if I got too close to the wrong person it could kill me. Talk about extremes.


Prior to COVID I thought nothing of sitting in a packed theatre, standing at a crowded gig. Those very things formed part of my life, my very being. Of course I'll go back, but it won't be without apprehension and a good dose of hand gel.



It's not only myself I worry about, it's the thought of passing virus on to others, so I just hope everyone remains sensible and follows guidelines, but I think we all know that there will be those that don't and so we need to remain vigilant ourselves and abut our health.


The easing of lockdown will be harder for some than others. Those who were and are perhaps scared to leave their home anyway. It's likely to have been a blessing for some. I didn't particularly enjoy school either. I imagine kids being bullied were happy to stay home.


One thing for sure is I think we will have all learnt something from it, about ourselves and what's really important in life. I never expected back last March that it was going to continue so long or have such a huge impact on the world and so many people, but then I was still trying to get through my own treatment. I don't think the reality really hit home at the time.


I did go out today because I needed to go to the bank. I did that , had a coffee and went home. I just did what I needed to do. I didn't do anything differently. I just did it, and I think that's what we need to do. I don't understand why everyone had to queue for a shop on the first day of opening, but if that's what you needed to do, that's what you needed to do. We're all going through this unknown together.

At first I felt a bit guilty about not being excited about the restrictions easing, but after thinking about it, you know what, it's OK. It's OK to feel however you need to feel. Do what's right for you.


Love T x



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