2020 was a bit of a journey of self-discovery for many of us.
We learnt about the value of a hug, the importance of seeing loved ones, how to be resilient in the face of uncertainty, but for many they also learnt a lot about themselves, the good and the bad.
So what happens if we want to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, work through unresolved issues, maybe get us back on a path from which life has perhaps sent us in the wrong direction and gain clarity in moving forward.
One of the things you can do is work with a Life Coach. Disclaimer - I was gifted three sessions with the lovely Lauren Iles to find out for myself just how Life Coaching works and how it can benefit us as an individual.
Thankfully Life Coaching is something the pandemic can not stop as sessions can be held over Messenger. I think it's always nice to be able to see the person you are talking to as opposed to a telephone conversation. Maybe it's because I worked in sales for many years, but I think I can be stronger on the telephone, withhold the things that hurt and say I'm OK. Actually looking someone in the eye, to me, is way more powerful and personal.
With that, I will admit I cried, not in a bad way. Facing insecurities and saying them out loud can be raw and emotional. The old rhyme goes that 'names will never hurt me' but it's wrong, words are powerful tools and when used the wrong way they can cause a lot of mental trauma. Used the right way they can be encouraging and heel old wounds - this is where Lauren comes in.
What is a Life Coach?
So before we continue, lets look at what a Life Coach actually is. There is often a misconception that a life coach is going to be something giving you careers advice or telling you how to live your life. Whats actually true is that a life coach is someone who can help you identify strengths and weaknesses and overcome obstacles holding you back.
If you think about the word 'coach' generally, they are someone who helps you hone your skills, be the best you can be, the same goes for a life coach. They will help you identify the obstacles that keep getting in your way, and help you find the motivation to deal with them.
'Life has many lessons and can teach you so so much if you are ready to listen'
- Lauren Iles
How do the sessions work?
Our first session was a generally chat about things and what we would be doing. Lauren also set me little tasks between sessions which were interesting. Just doing the tasks themselves in readiness for our sessions, setting out my thoughts on paper really provided clarity on areas which I could then see were issues holding me back. Talking through is issue or thought about myself, Lauren showed me how to break them down to look at whether they were fact or whether they were actually the way I was seeing them. Old wounds can be painful but Laurens words were both comforting and encouraging and she taught me how to stop a thought before it descends on a spiral of self-destruction.
Of course Rome wasn't built in a day. It's hard to turn around 40 odd years of thinking one way to that of a more positive one, but that's why they're called coaches, they're there to keep training your mind.
'...those ‘penny drop’ moments of realisation. Witnessing clients have these moments of connection with themselves is what is so powerful'
- Lauren Iles
What did I learn?
As I mentioned, the power of words and our interpretation is huge. Lauren made me see how the voice in my head isn't always doing us a favour. Often our thought process is negative and we use words, twist them to fit with the narrative in our minds to reinforce our self doubt. Thoughts do become things, and they're not always good things if we don't stop and turn those thoughts around.
Lauren also taught me about the importance of self-love, and this is where I cried, and that's absolutely fine. We're all so hard on ourselves that stopping and actually being kind to ourselves, actually loving ourselves, is a powerful powerful thing. I'm not going to rely her methods, because they are tailored to the individual, so what worked for me, may not work for you, that's why you need your own one to one session. But there are things that I will take with me not to mention moving forward but forever.
Thank you Lauren.
Have you, or would you try a Life Coach?
For more details, or to book a session with Lauren click here
Love Tx