It's only in the last six years that I've known the joys of owning a dog. Before that I didn't have one because a) I thought I was allergic, and b) I thought we'd killed my Auntie's by taking it for a walk in the snow...
Seems neither was true. I'm assuming I've grown out of my fur allergy and my Auntie's dog was old. So on realising I was never likely to be a Mother to my own child. I adopted a four-legged fur baby instead, and life has never been the same.
I mean that in a good way. I can't imagine life without my little boy now, and am one of those proud dog Mums, becoming a member of that club of fab people of whom, only they will understand the following...
1) For the first time in your life you don't mind a male hogging your side of the bed....as long as it’s the dog
2)You will learn to speak dog (kinda) those eyes, that jumping up you, all have their own different unique meanings - such as I need a....Wee, Walk, Food, Cuddle
3)You will never look at other dogs the same. They are potential playmates (With the exception of the female dog who my boys infatuation with made us unwelcome at the dog walking club) or enemies (Jack, the Jack Russell Cross from round the corner who has wiry hair and a mischevous face.)
4)No dog will be as gorgeous as your dog - it's a fact -( even Jack's Mum & Dad probably think the same - even though they themselves call him a s**t - see above)
5)You will not posses any items of clothing that do not have at least one dog hair on.
6)Muddy footprints on a clean floor are allowed - as long as they belong to the dog
7)You will understand why dog clothes are necessary
8)Hygiene goes out the window when your dog wants to sleep on your bed.
9)You will never get to eat the last bit on your plate ever again
10)Your place on the sofa will be replaced by a dogs bottom as soon as you move
11) That fusty smell which comes from the above (and I'm not talking about the sofa) is allowed
12)You will not own a coat without a poo bag in the pocket (empty obvs)
13) Handbags - see the above
14) You find cunning ways to hide tablets in food
15) You will never have seen anyone as happy to go on a walk (except for us now in lockdown)
16) You buy your dog Christmas presents and tell it about Santa
17) You will always find the energy from somewhere to go on a walk
18) You find out what unconditional love is.
19) You will never find anyone as happy to see you come home
20) You tell them how long you’ll be out
21) You will understand heartbreak when you see your dog being held by a vet. Even if
they’re just having their nails cut.
22) A tilt of the head has never been so cute
23) It becomes acceptable to be followed to the toilet
24) There is always something in your shopping basket for the dog
25) You will be brought and offered a toy by the dog but woe betide you if you try and take it away
26) You will never dine alone again
27) Doggy bags are real. You feel guilty for leaving your baby at home so you examine your plate for something for them which is snaffled in to a napkin and taken home (See 19)
28) They seem to know when you’re going away and will follow you round the house with sad questioning eyes
29) You stop going to firework displays for fear of upsetting the dog
30) You find yourself using words daily like 'tinkle' and 'tat-ta's'
31) It’s perfectly acceptable for your baby to stare and explore each room of the house the first time you take them somewhere new.
Can you think of any more?
T xx