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  • Writer's pictureTanya Louise

Lifestyle: Lockdown And How I Feel I’ve Changed

I wonder how many of us will stick to changes we made during lockdown?

They say it takes around 21 days to form a habit, that may be a myth because I thinks it's different for everyone, but we have had plenty of opportunity to change - for better and worse, or will we slowly return to our pre lockdown habits and beliefs? Today I wanted to talk about lockdown and how I feel I’ve changed personally.

For some they’ve hated lockdown, but without a doubt, I think we’ve all learnt something from it. When I hear people saying 2020 was the ‘Worst year ever’, for me personally I disagree.

Now I admit if you have lost loved ones then, if you’re still reading this even, you’ll have most likely swore at that last statement. I one hundred percent get that. But I am talking about me, and what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think there has ever been a period in our lifetime where we’ve had that time to reflect and go within yourself and look at what’s important.

I’m usually that one that goes on holiday and just before it’s time to come home I start to relax, but with enforced staying at home, it's given many of us something we’re not used to having - TIME.

How we used that time is what’s important. We’ve been left alone a lot with our thoughts, learnt a lot about ourselves. Personally I’ve found it an incredible time to learn and grow. I’ve learnt an immense amount about myself and I’m doing things now that I doubt without lockdown I would be doing, not so fast anyway.

From my own battles with cancer I know how hard mentally it can be. I’ve always said there isn’t enough support out there post treatment. My own experience with counsellors taught me that you need something that works for you. Unfortunately with the NHS, although they do their best, it’s a fixed set of sessions and that’s it, whether it’s helped or not. You just start to scratch the surface then it’s ‘times up’, and I’m under no illusion it's like a conveyor belt. One of the worst things you can experience if you’re someone having counselling is the counsellor not remembering what you talked about last time. It’s not their fault, they’re pushed for time. But if you’re already feeling worthless, it’s a further kick in the teeth.

Luckily I found a great counsellor, somehow on facebook. (I’m pretty sure the universe has a way of making sure things come to you when they need them) Finally I started to see more clearly. I still have a way to go, but I was so impressed at how people can be helped that I began training too. I would love to be able to give something back and help people who have been through trauma like me.

I was shown how to make a plan for my desired life and how that was achievable. We all have it within ourselves. It just takes a bit of coaxing. If your road changes along the way, that's cool too.

So I’ve been learning a lot about the mind. I have also become quite spiritual too. I think when you’ve faced your own mortality it’s natural to look for answers. It fascinates me

I can’t wait to share more with you on my blog and YouTube channel, also on my social media. I think I finally have content I believe in. For a long time I was told to niche, but niche to what? There’s a lot of pressure to keep up on social media and YouTube. I found myself buying things I didn’t need just so I had content and I really think that somehow that comes through. Being true to yourself is always better. Needless to say I didn't queue for Primark at 7am!

Of course there will still be some of the general content. That’s life, but it’s exciting the things that I finally feel I can achieve. I think lockdown taught us more about what’s actually valuable and important in life. You can have all the materialistic things in the world, but if it doesn’t ultimately make you happy then they are pointless. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe ‘things’ can make you happy, but in a way in which they enrich your life experiences.

COVID and lockdown has certainly taught us that there are things in life that we are certainly not in control of. A future, or indeed the future that we planned is not a given. The only thing that is certain is now, which is why we should live in the moment. Enjoy what we do have and make every moment count.

I can’t wait to share more with you.


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