UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGAGE AREA - Dating and what we look for in a partner over 40
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Dating over 40 can be a bit of a lucky dip. OK, probably not the best phrase to use, but you literally never know what you’re going to pull out of the bag.
As we age we attain ‘baggage’, be it exes, grief, children, health issues or emotional problems. Gone are the days of simply liking a lad and wondering if he likes you back. Let’s face it, if a man walked into my life right now that was single, alarm bells would be screaming ‘WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM??’.
As a teenager, relationships, boys and what clothes we would wear to meet them would dominate the conversation with friends.
Sadly I don’t see my old friends too often nowadays but when I do we tend to talk about the more deep and meaningful things about life. We share our secrets with another woman who understands. We are a far cry from those lovesick girls who shared everything and cried together over cheap beer. Yet men still seem to find their way back into our conversations.
At that age we wouldn’t have even thought about the prospect of dating in our forties, but as we come to learn, anyone of any age can find love, companionship and friendship.
Dating over 40 isn’t though one fabulous shoe fits all thing. What we look for now has changed, as have the safety issues that technology has brought with it.
In a time where a good social media image can make us stop the scroll, we may still decide at a swipe but when it comes to looking for a partner we value a one who sees life the way we do; who sees us for who we are and supports our decisions. But how do we find them? Older Dating sites UK could be the answer. It’s far safer too than meeting a complete stranger too as you are not giving them your personal details, such as your address or telephone number from the get go. You can chat and actually get to know people before taking it any further.
It doesn’t seem 5 minutes since I was a teenager, let alone 30 years! Yet I am so much wiser and have so much more self-knowledge and life experience. We know who we are and what we want. In return, we want those qualities to be appreciated by our men.
What romance means changes too. Flowers can be bought but time and attentiveness is priceless. We want men to consider our feelings, show empathy, respect and support. We’d rather have a coffee made for us in the morning or the house hoovered when we get home.
We don’t want lies, either about who you are or what you promise. In return we won’t do the same. Just be you or further down the line it will unravel. If you have no intention - be it calling or looking for something serious long term - just be honest! We’re too tired to deal with that same old BS.
Don’t play games with us. We’re big and old enough to make our own decisions. If you just want companionship and fun - tell us - we might just want that too - or we might want to wait for someone special. At least let it be our choice.
We have been through our fair share of relationships, learnt lessons and know what we want from a man. We know that relationships go beyond looks and we like a partner who can show their emotions, express their feelings and take responsibility for their actions. A man who thinks - in the bedroom, about us, about life and it’s endless possibilities. Questions life and it’s meaning and doesn’t just accept his load and thinks out of the box. Someone to share our journey, to learn with and keep learning.
It takes a special man to win the heart of a 40+ woman. We want a man who knows himself and has learnt from past relationships. We want someone that actually wants to talk to us and take an interest in our life, not just our underwear.
We’ve learnt not to sweat the small stuff but narrow-mindedness or verbal abuse are definite no-nos. Make us laugh - not at us or at our expense.